


Focus On The Game

by spiderks



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angry Thor (Marvel), Attempt at Humor, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Domestic Avengers, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Humor, Intense, Memes, Precious Peter Parker, Sam Wilson is So Done, Sassy Loki (Marvel), Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony loves his family, captain america is disappointed in you, he thinks about violent tingz, i swear this is crack, so they just play a certain card game, tony watches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2020-06-02 05:03:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19434487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spiderks/pseuds/spiderks
Summary: The Avengers play a game. Well, some Avengers play. Others contemplate why they haven't moved back to Malibu.





	Focus On The Game

Tony knew it was a bad idea. He knew it from the start, but he couldn't bring himself to say no to his kid. His kid who has eyes like those of a puppy, a puppy who had just been fucking kicked and, Jesus, Tony would have to ask Fury to arrest him just for thinking of being the person who kicked the goddamned puppy, aka Peter Parker.

Tony had the perfect view of the living room where everyone sat now, absorbed in the "war" they were having. Tony along with Bruce had opted out of participating in said war. Bruce because he didn't want to risk bringing out the big guy and Tony because he just really didn't give a crap.

Bucky, unlike Steve who was peer pressured into joining, immediately said yes to joining when Peter had suggested it. Sam then joined, followed by Clint, Natasha, Thor, Loki, and Wanda. They had all played the game before, but Steve recounted the famous speech anyway.

"When this game begins, we are no longer family. We are not in anyway friends. All relationships, including romantic, will disintegrate as if Thanos returned and snapped his fingers again." Steve in return got a nod from each person surrounding him, their faces scrunched up with determination.

"There will be no cheating. No use of powers. Peter, please refrain from letting your spidey senses control you. If they tingle, walk it off. Loki, no magic. Natasha, Bucky, no weapons. Thor, Sam, Wanda, Clint, I'm sure I don't have to say anything to you other than, control yourselves. It will be hard, but your the Avengers. Remember that."

Soon after, each person held their own cards close to their chests. The table in front of them held the deck and Steve plucked a single card then settled it slowly down on the table. The game sets off quickly.

The person to the left of Steve, who happens to be Bucky places down two cards, changing the color from green to red. Sam swears from beside him and plucks a card from the deck.

"Just started and your already changing the goddamn color." He grumbled as he placed his card specifically in between two reds in his deck. He smiled at the neatness of his deck.

Wanda places her card down, then Natasha, Clint, Thor, Loki, Peter, and finally Steve, who reverses it. Bucky glares deeply at Steve, who starts to shake violently. Tony actually starts to get worried after a while when Bucky doesn't look away. He starts to get even more worried when it's finally Bucky's turn and his eye contact never breaks and he makes Steve draw four. But after Steve plucks, Bucky finally looks away, even if he's still seething with anger.

The game continues with some occasional shouts, curses, and false calls. Tony actually starts to get bored of standing there watching, until Sam jumps with a shout, pointing at Wanda accusingly.

A minute before, Sam had been discreetly staring at Wanda from the corner of his eye. It was weird, he had thought. She was the one person who had the most close calls of getting out. It was like she had dropped a coin in between America's Ass and begged for good luck before the game, because they were ten minutes into the game and she had already called it five times. Sam saw a flash of red in her eyes as she watched Clint like a hawk. It had only lasted a second, but Sam knew. He knew. They had a rat in their game. A filthy dirty snek.

"Wanda's cheating! She's reading Clint's mind!" Sam shouted as he jumped up from his spot on the floor.

Steve stood up, his Captain America Is Disappointed In You Stare beaming in the sunlight that seemed to come out of nowhere seeing as it was nine o'clock at night.

"Wanda." Steve said.

"I-I just," She stuttered before letting out a sigh, "I knew I was going to lose. I just-"

Tears welled up in Bucky's eyes as he stared at Wanda in horror.

"How long?"

Wanda stuttered again.

"How long, Maximoff!" Clint said loudly, glaring at Wanda with pure hatred.

"The entire game." She said quietly. Bucky let out a sob and turned his head from the others, hiding his face in the couch cushion behind him. Natasha shook her head, disgust radiated off her in waves. She could hear the dudes riding them now on their surfboards shouting, "Totally tubular!" Peter stated quiet, reorganizing his cards with pursed lips.

Thor frowned deeply. He wanted to take mjölnir and bash Wanda horribly with it. He whispered his desire to Loki quietly. "It's what she deserves," He replied softly.

"This is absolute bollocks, luv." Loki exclaimed.

"Cap, do something about this clownery." Sam shouted. Clint yelled in agreement and then proceeded to call Wanda a clown. In just thirty seconds, seven triggered people held torches and signs, shouting at Wanda and calling her a disgrace.

Wanda backed up into the wall, covering her face and cowering in fear. She let out a whimper as Steve approached her.

"Please, Captain, spare me!" She croaked. Steve ignored her and raised her hand, signaling the others behind him to start chanting.

"Hoo Haa Hoo Tiki Tiki!" They chanted as they squatted, red, white, and blue paint suddenly appearing on their faces.

"Wanda Maximoff, from this day forward, you are now disqualified from playing this sacred game again. Go! Go back to the dirty cave you came from, and never come back." Steve demanded.

The chanting grew into cheers as Wanda retreated to her room, though Bucky still cried.

Rumor has it that you can still hear his sobs every time the sacred game is mentioned.

Tony wonders why he's still here.

And when someone finally calls "UNO OUT" and it's quickly followed by "YOU DIDN'T CALL UNO," Tony walks out of the kitchen and into his lab, wondering if Bruce wanted to help him test his new robot, and he knew that he wouldn't want to be anywhere else except here, so fuck Malibu. His home was here with his crazy family and his even crazier games of UNO.


End file.
